Of Blood and Bone
by phoebehhh
Summary: Kara Michelakos is plagued by strange memories and sudden pains. As she enlists in the 104th Trainee Squad, will her mysterious origin, doubled with the attentions of Eren Jaeger and the curiosity of Bertholdt Fubar, eventually lead to a tempestuous emotional tumult that will not only wreak havoc among them, but also bring the fate of humanity into question?
1. Chapter 1-Awakening

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. It belongs to Hajime Isayama.

* * *

_ Electricity. I feel it run through my veins, unknitting my bones. It boils my blood, turning my nerves into ash. Then it stops, and my nerves flare with flame. The pain thrums through me as I scream, thrashing as the sparks dance across my skin. _Make it stop.

_ "Remember your mission," Someone says, but I do not recognize their voice. I hear the sound of something being pulled in the dark room, and spasms of pain wreck my body once again. I don't know who I am anymore; I am nothing but the pain. There is nothing else I feel._

_ "Remember your mission," They say again, and it would be a miracle if I could. My brain is fried. I can't even recall my own name. Lightning strikes through me again, and I'm not even surprised anymore. It's become something I've learnt to expect._

_ They say those three damn words again, and I try to scream at them, to cry out, but my throat is bone-dry, my lungs raw from all the screaming I _have _done. _Remember what? Tell me!

_ They do not answer. And as I feel myself burn away to nothing again, I say goodbye to all that I have known and fall into the embrace of the gathering dark._

* * *

I wake when dawn is just breaking. The sky is tinted purple and orange, the heavy matutinal silence filling the air. I don't need to take a look at myself to know that I'm a shivering mess. The bedsheets and my clothes are soaked through with sweat, my damp hair clinging possessively to my neck. The sticky feeling makes me shudder, the itch for a shower becoming unbearably overwhelming.

It's only when I uncurl my fists that I realize I've kicked the thin blanket to the ground. Sighing shakily, I rub my left eye with the heel of my palm. _What in actual hell _was_ that?_

_ "Bad dream?"_

I flinch, like the words physically hurt me. Blinking away my grogginess, I strain my eyes against the dimly lit room to see who had just spoken. There's no one else here except another girl and I, her small figure leaning on the doorframe, but I can't see her face.

"I'm sorry?" I ask tentatively, not missing the rasp in my voice. Damn it. _When was the last time I had a proper glass of water?_

She shifts forward into the light, and I manage to catch a glimpse of her features. Her pale blonde hair reflects the light of dawn, her right fringe draped along the side of her face. At first her hair hides her eyes, but when she tilts her head upwards to look at me, I see that they are a sullen blue. I feel an unwelcome chill settle over my skin as I continue studying her. Her skin is practically alabaster, and her overall paleness makes me feel like I'm facing a carved marble statue. One that looks like she'd really rather be anywhere but here.

I freeze when she locks her eyes with mine, making me strangely unnerved with her apathetic stare. "You were having a bad dream," she states, her voice monotone.

"Huh?" My mind is foggy from sleep, and I struggle to answer her question. "Y-yeah. I was."

Her eyes glint with the confirmation, and with slow, sure, steps, she makes her way over to my bed, studying me carefully. I swallow painfully, a little afraid to move. She watches me like a hungry lion, and I can't help but feel like I am the ever submissive prey.

"It must have been pretty bad," she says contemplatively, "To have gotten you all sweaty and screaming like that."

I just stare at her. _How long has she been here?_ _And what's the point of all her questions anyway? _But I don't answer her, simply eyeing her in a state of stunned silence. The less these people know what's going on inside of my head, the better.

Her eyes gradually narrow at my continued muteness, and she shakes her head disgustedly. "Ah, whatever. It was probably something fluffy like your favourite pet dying, anyway. You look like the type."

_ What the hell? _My jaw clenches, my teeth gnashing against each other in protest. _Who the hell does she think she is? _I think, my nails digging into my palm. If she wants, I'll show her just how _fluffy_ I can get.

I'm about to throw her a sharp retort before she interjects, saying, "You should get your ass out of bed and get ready. Morning assembly will be in session in twenty minutes." She walks to the door, placing her hand on the doorknob. "Instructor Shadis wanted to show us the new recruit," she turns, sneering at me. "A shame that I get to experience the disappointment before everyone else."

_ That's enough, bitch. _Sitting up suddenly, I hiss, "Just _what _exactly, is your Goddamn problem-"

_ Click._

I blink. Once, twice; stupefied as I stare at the door. She's left, just like that. What's up with _her_? _Definitely _someone I'm going to avoid bumping into. _Or maybe it's just me, _I reason, rubbing my eyes sleepily. And she was saying something about an instructor…

_ Oh. _My mind clears immediately when I realize where I am. _Military training. _I'm on autopilot as I hop out of bed, heading to the tiny bathroom as I repeat to myself the fundamentals of my life now.

_ My name is Kara Michelakos. My home is Trost,_ I tell my reflection, staring at her amber eyes in the mirror. _My father's dying wish was for me to join the military, hence my late recruitment. _

I wash up, letting the cool water rejuvenate me. A while later, I walk outside to see my new military uniform folded neatly on the bedside table._ My name is Kara Michelakos_, I think absently, twisting my brown hair into a braid. _I am here to enlist in the military. My purpose is to use my life as part of humanity's dwindling defense against the Titans. My mission…_

I stop in my tracks, the strands of my braid unwinding as my hands stop working. _My mission_, I muse frustratedly. _What is my mission?_

_ And the dream… is it a nightmare, or a memory?_

I let the thought sink in. This isn't the first time I've doubted what I've come to know about myself. I can barely remember my mother's face. Somehow, these supposed truths I tell myself seem artificial, like they're a mask for something underneath. And someday, I have yet to discover what that something is, lurking in the recesses of my subconscious…

I shake my head, prompting myself to focus. _But today is not that day._

Groaning, I pick up the tan leather jacket and slip it over the shoulders of my white button-up, although it takes some time because of all the ridiculous bondage straps restricting my movement. _How are we going to kill Titans,_ I complain mentally, _if we're all tied up like livestock for the slaughter?_

After a few tugs at the leather cuff, I stretch a little. The material of the jacket is hard and unyielding, but I reason with myself that it'll probably get broken in after a few washes. I'm pulling the leather boots onto my feet when the pain, swift and sudden, strikes through my head like a crash of thunder. My vision goes black for a moment and I see stars, my hands desperately scrambling to put pressure on my head. I breathe in, breathe out, press down; and the pain subsides. I blink the static away from my vision, gingerly pushing myself off of the bed. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I can only hope that these flashes of a headache don't plague me when I'm out on the field.

Breathing deeply for good measure, I finally walk to the door and push it open, wincing as the rays of morning sun sting my eyes. As I take my first few steps out the door, I can't help but feel anxious. _What if I don't succeed? What if everyone else is like the pale girl from just now? And what if I never find out what my mission is?_

I push those thoughts away roughly, down to the lowest abyss, and I step off the porch and into the sunlight, ready to face the members of the 104th Trainee Squad.

_ My name is Kara Michelakos_, I tell myself again. _And I will not be afraid._

* * *

_Chapter Soundtrack: Imagine Dragons-Radioactive._


	2. Chapter 2-Introductions

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. It belongs to Hajime Isayama.

* * *

Honestly speaking, I've seen a lot of things that terrified me. The nightmare was one, and the pale girl from earlier this morning was definitely in a league of her own. But none of those things,_ none_ of them, prepared me for the dubious acerbity that accompanied the words of Instructor Keith Shadis when he spoke.

The morning sun scorched my skin mercilessly, beads of sweat trailing along my face before they wormed their way under my stiff collar. I faced a crowd of around two hundred or more trainees, each of them appraising me in their own way. Swallowing nervously, I tried my best not to fidget and show my anxiety. I didn't want to become an easy picking for the thugs here anytime soon.

"Today, we have a new trainee joining us," the Instructor boomed from beside me. He stood behind a makeshift podium, looking imposing and silencing any chatty trainees with a stern look. "_Kara Michelakos of Trost_," he gestured to me, drawing everyone's attention and making me feel a thousand times more uncomfortable, "Although enlisting slightly later than the rest of you, has already undergone and passed the basic aptitude tests, and proven herself worthy of not being sent off to the development camps."

Eyeing me with his solemn gaze, he continued, "_However_, if Cadet Michelakos expects a warm welcome, I suggest she quashes that expectation _immediately_. You are not here to make teatime friends and arrange playdates, but to fight and play your bloody part in a war that has plagued mankind for a century. You are here to give up your life for humanity, _understood?_"

_ "Yes, sir!" _I say, fisting my hand above my heart in a salute and feeling an ugly red fire up on my face as some of the other trainees snicker. Somehow, as I search the crowd, my vision latches onto the pale girl, and she smirks at me, as if she_ knows _that I don't have what it takes, that I should have been shipped off to the development camps like the other drop-outs.

My jaw tightens painfully as I match her stare. _Just you wait_.

Shrugging my braid off my shoulder and feeling it thud reassuringly against my back, I put on a brave face, devoid of any emotion, and studied the faces of my peers. There was a long-faced boy with a copper-blond undercut who tilted his head warily at me, before returning his attention to a quiet girl with short, dark hair and a crimson scarf wound around her neck. Meanwhile, a short, blond boy with chin-length hair and straight bangs across his forehead studied me carefully with his big, blue eyes. One girl that looked like his twin gazed at me thoughtfully, while the freckled, olive-skinned girl beside her just sized me up in a bored-looking fashion.

A brawny boy that was built like a tank stood next to the pale girl that I had the misfortune of meeting earlier. He gave me a calculating, assessing look, his brows furrowed in what seemed like disdain. The tall, slender boy next to him took a risk and nudged him discreetly out of his obvious displeasure with me, careful not to catch the Instructor's eye. I frowned at the brawny blonde. _Guess that makes two on my list of who to avoid._

The tall boy caught my eye, before giving me an apologetic look. I blinked, a little taken aback, before giving him a small smile to show that it was alright. Although at first surprised with my gesture, he eventually returned it with one of his own, and I couldn't help but feel a little of the weight I'd been feeling lift off of my shoulders_. At least I've made_ one _possible friend_, I thought in relief.

"And _what,_ exactly, are you smiling at, _Michelakos_?" My right ear was at once filled with the Instructor's irritation, and I couldn't help but wince, recoiling from the verbal blow and dropping the smile from my face.

Snorts erupted from the front row, and that, thankfully, diverted the Instructor's rage elsewhere. "Do you have something helpful to say, _Springer?_" The Instructor shouted.

A boy with a shaved head straightened as if he'd been slapped at the back of his head, and after saluting the Instructor, anxiously replied, _"N-no, sir!"_

_ So he was the one snorting. Looks like what goes around comes around, _I thought self-righteously, biting the inside of my cheek to stop smiling.

As the Instructor proceeded to whiplash him with his words, my eyes strayed to the boy standing next to him. To my surprise, he was already studying me intently. The boy's brow was furrowed slightly in concentration, viridian eyes bright as he watched me. His attention, for some reason, enraptured me, and so I stared back, a little transfixed.

"The next time you make a single fucking sound when I'm speaking, Springer, I'll take it as if you're volunteering for janitorial duty," The Instructor said, breaking me from my trance. Blinking numbly, I chastise myself. _What was that all about?_

I don't have time to dwell on it because the Instructor slowly turns to me, jaw clenching in displeasure. "But not forgetting you, Michelakos," he said, his expression grim and effectively making fine cracks in my composure. "I won't have some mentally challenged trainee under my care, so get your act together. In fact, you can ask Cadet Brause on how I deal with my cadets and their... personal oddities."

More snickering ensues, and I can't pin down who the source of all the attention is. But the Instructor simply returns the trainees to his full attention, and finishes with, "Sparring practice is after this. You are dismissed."

He stepped down from the podium, his assistants trailing after him in a brisk walk. The trainees visibly relaxed, and so did I, heaving a deep sigh. _Well, that could have gone worse._

But when I cast my straying gaze downwards, I meet the eyes of the pale girl, her blue eyes glinting with the promise of a challenge. And I feel my heart sink with the slightest feeling that the worst is yet to come.

* * *

_Chapter Soundtrack: Florence + The Machine-Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)._


End file.
